That Moment

So life comes down to decisions made in moments of all sizes.

I keep thinking about this and haven't heard it discussed much, but I'm often thinking about how life is really a series of decisions. And in the same respect, decisions are made from a mixture of thoughts. You have the thoughts that have taken place over hours and hours, the preparation for the moment of decision. Then you have the often emotionally-triggered thoughts that stray across your mind the moment of decision that sometimes fly in the face of all other logic and reason.

As a person, I dislike making decisions based on emotion. Well, except emotions like excitement. But I don't want to decide something when I'm angry or sad since I tend to regret it later. But break 100 mph on the interstate? I make that decision easily based on the adrenaline flowing!

Back to the topic, there are things you want to do and those things you don't want to do, of course. It tends to be good that I want to do and sin that I don't want to do. So while I'm gearing up for something, planning on asking for a girl's phone number or if I'm more cautious, e-mail address, I'm thinking about what I want to say and how I want to come across. Yet, invariably something pops up. A girl that beautiful has to have a boyfriend already. There's no way she would give me her number. She hardly knows me. It's the wrong time, she' s walking out the door.... What's is wrong with that moment? And why am I resisting the logic that I had laid out in advance?

On the flipside, I'll resolve to never do something again. Just give it to God and walk away. Again, the temptation swings around and in an instant, I'm back to my old habits. Kicking and screaming at myself back, even. So what is it? Why can I not do the things I want to and not do the things I don't want to? Cleary, this has not hindered me from living a productive and fulfilling life, but it limits me, no doubt. Here I am with potential to do more, but I'm holding myself back right at the cusp of making the decision to act or not act.

Something to work on. Feel free to chime in on things you've noticed. What happens at that moment when your brain hands over the controls and lets you hit the railing for a bit.